the sheep in ORANGE

Friday, January 13, 2006,12:32 AM
time, will you just get the hell away from me!? please...

Can someone just stop the time from moving?!?!?

Time is passing by so fast, and I am afraid.

Afraid of what? Well, I am not sure about it.

I am scare of celebrating my 18th birthday, which many are looking forward to. I still feel like I am still in secondary school with my friends and teachers. I miss those days when after school we go to jurong point to have our lunch in our school uniform then after that loiter around for awhile before going back home to study. I miss those days when we are rushing our coursework, playing with each other and crapping with Mr. Aw. I miss those days when I stay back in school and Mr Neo nagging at me for my careless mistakes and teaching me patiently when my Amath and Emath really suck. I miss those days when we stay back for Mr. Poh's extra lessons and being pian by Mr. Poh. I miss those days when we crap with Mr. Ler, Mr. AM, Miss Lim and many more. I seriously want to go back to those secondary school days.

I am scared that after I finish my education (though it's in say 5years time), I have to go out to the society to work. After working for like a month, I gotten the working phobia. The world outside is so complicated. I remember there's one time I saw Mdm Kurusamy while I am working after my olevels. Then she asked me... "So now you prefer working or schooling?" Without thinking, "definitely schooling," these two words just came out of mouth. Everyone says that schooling is the best time of your life, you wouldn't realize it till you are out into the working world. I definitely agree with this statement.

I am scared, after I grow up I will have to leave my parents someday. I don't want!!! I am scared of growing up! I don't wanna leave my parents, I wanna be with them forever!!!

And I just dislike the feeling that's inside me right now. Maybe I am just not prepared to face all these. So time can you just SHOO!!! Stay away from me!!! I don't wanna grow up!!! I wanna be a (toy 'R'us) kid forever!!! Time! Get lost! Will you? Then come back when I am ready? I know you won't... you are just so cruel. Guess I will just have to adapt to it??? Face it even though I am not ready.