the sheep in ORANGE

Monday, October 22, 2007,2:21 AM

This isn’t a very nice feeling. There seems to be a pile of awaiting jobs to be done but there don’t seems to have enough time for me to accomplish them and there is like this empty feeling inside of me.

Not knowing where and how to start.

Darn! Hate this kind of unsure and restless feeling.

I think it’s because of FYP? Encountering problems, nearing deadline, pressurizing supervisor and peers, passive teammates and friends.

Facing problem is unavoidable but right at the start!? Deadline is approaching and we are still at the start!? Stress from our supervisor is enough but can those other freaking groups just mind their own businesses and stop poking their nose into ours!? Stop being so yaya! It’s damn irritating! Having teammates that aren't too aggressive is good but I even have trouble trying to get them down to go down and get a freaking screwdriver from the TSO! Everything is about you want to do you want to do but hey, how about those things that you don't want to do!? They ends up with me! Do you think I want to do those things as well!? Work work work is working more important than your diploma? I am not being unreasonable and saying that you should quit your job! I am just asking you to change it to weekends instead! And I not even ask you people to come back on weekends for projects meeting! Plus I am seriously having doubts are both of you that weak!? Falling sick, need to rush home for something!? Why is it always so coincidental!? And is it going to kill you when I ask you to call our supervisor once in awhile!? And just to remind you, you are the team leader! I’ve placed you in the name of leader in hope that with this title you would be more initiative without me pushing. As a team leader calling the supervisor is a definite thing even if it’s a chore but why is it that I am the one always landing up to call him!? So what if I am closing to the supervisor!? You are the team leader you should also build the rapport with him and not forever saying that oh you are closing to him so you contact him! I am tired that I am always the one doing the extra jobs! Even booking school squash courts I am always the one doing! Contacting the coach! I’ve given you his number! Why am I still the one always having to pass message around!? You have your FYP and other commitments but so do I!

Maybe I shall stop being such a goodie goodie and just do my part and not bothering about others just like what Gladys’s tarot cards said.

I’m not okay (I promise)

Those things are wearing me out.

I need a break.

I’m not oh-farking-kay.

Nights out. Toddles earthlings.